Setting goals and overcoming limiting beliefs

3

February 25, 2013 by nourishing buttons

I spent the weekend in a generic hotel conference room with about 100 other people all with one thing in common…..a desire to learn about coaching. It was a free (no catch) course on Personal Coaching put on by The Coaching Academy, the largest coaching training company in the world.

On day one we learnt about the GROW model, and how to use this to coach people to achieve goals. It can be used for anything from wanting to spend more quality time with your children, to big career ambitions. Coaching is simple in essence but you need to become a coach, asking open questions at the right time, and absolutely keeping your story out of it. Its all about teasing out the clients own ideas and solutions, NOT advising, mentoring, training or just adding your tuppeny worth. Which is surprisingly hard to begin with as it goes against most previous communicative interactions.

It is helping someone move from where they are now to where they want to be…………and to do this more effectively than if they did it alone. Or as I coined, being the hand to pass the key to the client to unlock their own potential, dreams and goals *bows*.

GROW stands for
Goal the desired outcome
Reality how far have you travelled, how far have you got to go
Options stretching what the client has tried or thought of before
Will/way forward creating an action plan, negotiating obstacles, planning resources and support, and gaining commitment

Day two was quite personal for me. It focused on finding your limiting beliefs, those phrases you say either out loud or internally (mind chatter) that are deep rooted and negative. Such as ‘typical’ ‘it always happens to me’ ‘I’m not good enough’ ‘people will laugh at me’. To begin with I couldn’t think of mine as they were so deeply internalised. These limiting beliefs are usually born when we are children of 3 to 5 years, by parents, teachers and the playground. Blimey as if us parents didn’t have enough responsibility already! They are then polished by age 12 and our adult limiting beliefs come from then.

A way to start to deal with your limiting beliefs is to turn the statement (for example ‘people will judge me’) into a positive affirmation such as ‘I am not affected if people judge me’, and to repeat it out loud to someone repetitively until they say they believe you!

Andrew Jenkins our trainer for the morning set us a task based upon ‘The Comfort Zone’ (there are three places we can be at a particular time, the comfort zone where we usually are, the stretch zone where we are challenged and the panic zone). He asked us to imagine having to present to the audience of 100 in a weeks time about a subject you are comfortable about, and for us to stay seated if we were comfortable, move to the front if we were in stretch and the back of the room for the panic-ers. I duly moved to the back, with about 15 others. Then I was the person who got picked to see if I could move myself to the front group. I was already experiencing anxiety, just by being in the situation, and then this was ramped right up by the next few minutes, by being the focus of the attention of all 100 people while I was coached into moving slowly to the front of the room. One of my goals is to be comfortable in this situation, and this will happen, watch this space….

Finally a few inspirational quotes…

If we wait for the moment when everything is ready we will never begin – Ivan Turgenev

Whether you believe you can, or whether you believe you can’t, you’re probably right – Henry T Ford

Be the change you wish to see in the world – Mahatma Gandhi

Warm wishes, Lu xx

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3 thoughts on “Setting goals and overcoming limiting beliefs

  1. Paul says:

    The best free course on the planet! I have attended;

  2. Thank you Lu. Much appreciated that you enjoyed your time on this 2 day course. I did note your anxiety and well done for seeing it through though. An excellent summary and article by the way.
    Andrew Jenkins.
    PDx Consulting Ltd

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